DUE!

I'm officially due tomorrow. I thought by now I would be so antsy to get this baby out, but I'm not. I do have my moments- especially when I am trying to get out of bed, but otherwise I trust that she will come when she is ready.  I was going to be super women and work until I went into labor, but I really felt that  I needed to focus on resting and mentally preparing for the big event. I am so glad I made that decision! My last shift was Thursday night and I can't imagine having to do more this week. I had such a hard time keeping up with my nesting and trying to recover from work - plus my emotions get messed up after doing too many night shifts.

I have been pondering the big day a lot. I have been thinking a lot about my mom, my mother-in-law, my grandmas, and my sisters who have already had children.  Although I have had an easy pregnancy compared to most, I have gained so much appreciation and respect for these wonderful women (and all women for that matter).  I tell my husband all the time how grateful he should be for his dear mother that carried him and brother together.  Thinking about my mom, I never once heard her complain while she was pregnant.  She always worked full time and had a million other kids/responsibilities, but she never even seemed to waddle.  I'm sure she would confide in my dad, but who honestly doesn't openly complain at least once during their pregnancy?!  The more I think about my mom, the more I realize that she doesn't really complain about anything. She gave birth naturally to 6 kids (sorry Em.. hehe) and hasn't ever complained about how difficult it was. She simply did what she thought was best, although natural childbirth is so not a simple task.  Even now, I cannot get her to tell me how awful it was. I keep telling her - maybe you don't remember how painful it was... She just simply replies that she wouldn't forget after 6 times.  I appreciate her willingness to help me through my labor and delivery.  She is flying in Friday - thank goodness!  I know its a big sacrifice for her to come out here - but I can't imagine her not being there. Although, she may be using my delivery as an excuse to come to Cleveland! On second thought - probably not hehe!

 Pregnancy is hard and so exciting at the same time.  I really believe there is a purpose for this.  With that said, this is probably my last post before she comes - see ya on the other side!

Summer 2012

Summer is over for us here in Cleveland.  Tyler is in his 3rd week of the dreaded 2nd year of  dental school.  With me being on nights this month, sometimes I see him for ten minutes or less a day.  Its  only temporary though and I have had crazier schedules in the past. It will and already has been a rough school  year for Tyler though.

Summer doesn't feel quite the same when you are working - it pretty much feels the same as the rest of the year, just hotter. Nonetheless, I love summer - I have really enjoyed the longer days/sunshine.   I had planned all these trips we could take before the baby coming, but unfortunately we didn't do much of anything this summer. The beginning of the summer was focused on planning/going to girls camp. After which, Tyler decided to get an extensive nasal surgery that took the rest of the summer to recover from. At least we saved money by not traveling...?? right?

I hope Tyler doesn't mind me posting this picture. The surgery was an awful experience. I cannot tell you how vulnerable I felt for the four hours I waited for him.  I HATED being on the other side of healthcare - I know too much about complications/mistakes/crappy and disrespectful nurses and doctors.  I thought a lot about the families of my patients that have to wait while their loved ones have surgery on their brain. I seriously do not know how people cope through it.  Tyler is healthy and was having an elective surgery, but it was very hard for me. I will get pay back when he has to watch me in labor hehe. I talked to my mom/dad and Melina on the phone. Plus I got to talk to my dear friend, Stephanie. This helped so much! I so wanted to be with him when he woke up from anesthesia to make sure he got what he needed, but they wouldn't let me back ( I should have just swiped in with my badge!). I cannot imagine being the family of the patients I take care of - my patients are so sick and their futures are so unclear. This experience has changed how I interact with families and take care of my patients.  Tyler had some complications from being under anesthesia that really freaked us out, but through the prayers, fasting, and faith of our families and loved ones, the complications have improved and he continues to get back to normal.

It was a cruel joke calling me to be camp director - I was 5 months pregnant and it was miserably hot and humid.  I did really enjoy getting to know the YW in our ward, plus making crafts for girls  (stole so many ideas from my leaders, I swear I just went to camp as a YW!) Here are a few -

I also made wedding cake for Kristina- a friend I work with.  I tried to tell her that buttercream and heat/humidity don't mix, but she insisted :) I was so relieved it didn't melt and topple over! Tyler kept telling me I was  P.U.P (pregnant under pressure) - not the best combo, ps...I totally married a nerd! I didn't get to stay for the wedding, but Kristina looked absolutely beautiful in the pictures I saw.  She is truly a gem!

The best part of the summer was growing my baby and preparing for her arrival. I went through a phase where I would randomly start freaking out/crying in fear of having to go through labor, and especially the pushing. I have seen it plenty, heard many horror stories and really positive ones, but obviously have never experienced it myself.  I am now just so excited for this baby to come. I can't wait! I love feeling her move all the time. I think I will miss that. I feel really blessed because this pregnancy has been so easy (compared to what others go through).- I am definitely starting to waddle, especially towards the end of my work days, I have sore legs/pelvis and its a joke trying to roll over in bed, I also wake up occasionally with charlie horses in  my calves.  Thats the extent though - easy breezy.  I did have to get an ultrasound from a perinatologist because I was measuring 2.5 weeks behind but she is healthy.  She is in the 30th percentile for weight, weighing 3.3 lbs. She is almost as big a her daddy when he was born (Ty was a preemie).  The Barr girls have 80th percentile babies, but it looks like I will be the exception - which I wouldn't mind!  I can't wait to meet this girl. She has already made such an impact, what a special little person she is. I am almost done getting her nursery ready. It is such a peaceful place for me to go. (That will probably change!)  To say the least - I am anxiously waiting her arrival!

I just took this picture - a little over 32 weeks

Her little hand is covering her mouth!

I was so right!

Can I just say... I was sooo right- we are having a baby girl!

I just felt really early on that it was a girl, but as time went on I started second guessing myself- I thought I was psyching myself out because I really wanted a girl for our first baby (and first Smith grandchild).  When we found out, it wasn't that surprising because I was already acting like the baby was a girl (I called the  baby "her", mainly thought of girl names, and was tempted to buy little dresses every time we went to the store).  We found out the perfect way,in home sonogram surrounded by family at my parents house in AZ!  We are thrilled and excited and can't wait to meet our baby girl!

This was baby's first dress I bought, so little!

More dresses- mainly  from my baby shower in AZ

I figured I better start taking pictures of the growing belly...

13 weeks
I was so convinced I was showing!

20 weeks
Out of no where, my belly just popped

We just got back from 2 weeks in Arizona. It was seriously so nice to just hang with the family.  I wasn't long enough- it never is I guess.  One  of the highlights of the trip was attending Emily's speech. She was in a statewide oratorical competition, prize  $2500 scholarship- she was the youngest among her competitors. I felt like a nervous mama the whole morning. Before she went up and during her speech, I felt like I was going to pass out, my heart was racing!  She seriously blew me away, my mom and I had chills by the time she finished. She was so poised, mature and confident and didn't fumble on a word. I thought she had it in the bag, until the last girl went up.  She was a lot older than Em and also gave a great speech.  Em ended up coming in close second. I still think she should have won! I thought she really had deserved something for the outstanding job she did, so I gave her an "I owe you" for $2500, that as good as money right!?!  Yay Emily, you are amazing and Im so proud of you!

 Other pics from the trip:

Ted and Becky,
Becky organized an impromptu baby  shower for me, which was actually perfect for me. I really appreciated her efforts!

Some of the cute grand kids at Shelby's dance 

concert

Em and Julie

Me and my mamma aka doula. We talked natural child birth the whole trip.  She helped me make my positive affirmations recording for my labor. Sounds lame, but I love it!  So grateful for her and that I get to have her as my mom!

Shelby's bday party, Melina made poodle skirts for all the girls - so cute!

Im obsessed with Katelyn-
she and my baby are going to be great friends!

I made Kyle a dirt bike cake for his surprise b-day party. I tried to replicate his favorite dirt bike.

Daily eating out for lunch with dad

Dad and Beef

I did not want to leave, I wanted to throw up thinking about it. It also freaked me out to leave because I knew I wouldn't be back before having my baby.  Its really keeping me going knowing that my mom will be coming up in October for the birth. 


So grateful for my family!

The Journey

It is so easy to get caught up with the day to day, to-do lists, and the enduring of work!!  Time passes so fast. I can't believe its already May! I have been looking through pictures of  the past year and a half since Tyler and I have been married and its crazy how different life can become in such a short time.  Moral-- enjoy whatever  stage you are in, most likely it will change soon and you wont be in the situation again!  I look back to situations I thought were challenging, but now I can see that I was surrounded by many wonderful people-I miss  those situations/people!  I know that I will miss Cleveland when we leave - my  little ward where everyone has 3 callings, my job that I learn SO much at, the ample missionary opportunities, our home in Little Italy, and lets not forget the culture here....: )

Tyler is in the middle of finals. Between his non stop studying and me working nights this past month-we haven't seen much of each other-like seriously. The end is in sight- we are going to Arizona on Saturday for 2 weeks!! I can't wait! It such a blessing to visit family. To make it even sweeter, we are doing an in-home ultrasound there and we will find out what we are having.  I can't believe  we  already get to find out, and what a perfect way- surrounded by my favorite people!  Any guesses??? Early on I thought strongly it was girl... Now I don't feel strongly either way. I am guessing girl, but really I will be so excited either way!

Here are some of the pictures I have been reminiscing over...in  no particular order-

Hawaii trip- view from helicopter

My two favorites boys

I miss Tyler's truck! We sold it right before coming here. So many fun memories in there  when we  were dating

My wedding dress - Finally boxed up before making the move to Ohio. I love that dress!

Our first view of the city- about to end our three day excursion east.

Mine was for my nursing license application, Tyler's for dental school application

Put In Bay with Stephanie, it was so much fun!

Tyler  used to make pizzas all the time in Provo

Hawaii again- a year ago we were there - I need to go back!

Drake learning guitar, Tyler has a special love for the Wagner boys

I remember coming home from  work after having a hard day,  Tyler had some simple flowers, a love note and some chocolates set up on our dresser.  It was one of those moments that are simple, but unforgettable!

I love this boy!  Seriously, it only gets better!

<3

<3

<3

Go out and make some memories!

Its true.. I'm Prego! 12 weeks along, due October 8th! I only told family and close friends early on, but who knows if the news traveled- this certainly may be old news...


In the beginning of February, I was a few days "late" when I am usually early. I always think Im pregnant, so I didn't put much thought into it. On Feb 3rd, I was at work with a relatively calm assignment. I remember the thought that I was pregnant was stuck in my head. It felt different than other times when I thought I was pregnant - like it wasn't coming from me. I couldn't get the idea out of my head for like five hours and I actually began to really think it was real (I started being more cautious when positioning pts and bending over etc haha). I rushed home after work to tell Tyler that we needed to go get a pregnancy test, he thought I was delusional - I guess I have cried wolf a few too many times. 


I literally dragged him to Walgreens (prego tests are so expensive there ps.) Then we went out to eat and went home for the night. Somehow Tyler convinced me to wait until the morning to take the test and I was so tired I went along with it.


Well that night I had three dreams that my pregnancy test was positive. As soon as the sun came up, I hopped out of bed and rushed to take the test. I remember it showed positive so fast, I was basically shocked. I always pictured this moment as super joyous and happy, but I burst out in tears in an "oops, crap, Tyler is going to kill me" type of way (This baby would be born around the start of his hardest/most time consuming year of school. Being the planner that I am, I wanted to avoid having a baby during that year, so I wouldn't be raising the baby by myself...) Anyways- I ran into our room and woke Tyler up and told him, saying "Im sorry" every other sentence. Not surprisingly, he was so excited and happy about it, and was very reassuring to me. 


After the initial shock wore off, I obviously became a lot more excited - ever since I got married I have been baby hungry. I love my little baby so much already, and feel willing to sacrifice anything for him/her. Baby is a little over two inches now. I can't wait to find out what I'm having! 

Tyler's 29th!

Today is Tyler's birthday, he is getting so old! Last night some friends came over for some cake and treats.

I love him so much!  I have said it a million times, but I never thought I would find someone like him.  We are excited for this new year together and all the opportunities we have to look forward to! 

Love you  babe! (even though you dragged me to Cleveland : ) ...)